“We’re not meant to be, it’s never going to change. So, let’s at least agree to go our separate ways. Not gonna judge you when you’re with somebody else, long as you swear you won’t be pissed when I do it myself. Let’s end it like we should and say we’re good.” -Dua Lipa, “We’re Good”
You didn’t think I was done talking about boundaries, right? No way! I love this. And, what better way to frame a post about setting clear boundaries in a breakup? Not only is this song catchy and beautiful, but it’s an excellent example of how to set clear and kind boundaries in a breakup. Not so sure? Keep reading, then let me know what YOU think in the comments below.
Let’s dissect the lyrics to “We’re Good” (radio edit):
I’m on an island, even when you’re close (feeling distant, abandoned, neglected, unappreciated, etc)
Can’t take the silence, I’d rather be alone (realizing being alone is better than being coupled up and miserable)
I think it’s pretty plain and simple (we’re both seeing this, right?)
We gave it all we could (it was fun while it lasted)
It’s time I wave goodbye from the window (we don’t need to drag this out…a quick and clear goodbye is all we owe each other)
Let’s end this like we should and say we’re good (no need for drama or explanations, we can end on good terms and be done)
We’re not meant to be, that’s never gonna change (clear expectations, no lingering hope or pining)
So let’s at least agree to go our separate ways (clear)
Not gonna judge you when you’re with somebody else (healthy sexual boundaries)
As long as you swear you won’t be pissed when I do it myself (clear is kind)
Let’s end it like we should and say we’re good (done.)
(Songwriters: Emily Warren / Scott Harris / Sly Silverstein / Dua Lipa)
What does “We’re Good” have to do with healthy boundaries around breakups?
Let’s face it. We all know someone who has stayed in a relationship too long. They either couldn’t face the music, or kept making reasons and excuses to stay. It could be that they didn’t know how to tell the other person that it was time to be done. I see the first couple of reasons a lot when I do codependency treatment in my Miramar, FL-based therapy practice. However, this last one is almost exclusively about boundaries. How great! This is easy to learn and then can take just a bit of time to really master. Yes, you CAN be a boundary boss.
How to have a good, healthy breakup
A good breakup can happen when you have clarity around the reality of the situation and genuinely care about the person. Thinking about the lyrics above, they are clear. They are kind. The way the songwriters painted the picture makes sense and fits with the way most folks would ideally like to be broken up with! I mean, of course, no one WANTS their significant other to say “it’s over”. But, it’s better to be clear and kind than for things to get ambiguous, messy, and painful, right? That’s what I find most often. So, remember, it’s not only okay to ask for what you want and need in a relationship. And, it’s also okay to end a relationship when you need to. You do not have to stay in something just because you don’t know how or when to say goodbye. Healthy boundaries and healing are key for self-love.
Consider Working with Enid via Online Therapy in Florida or Coaching for Women
As always, I would love to support you. If you are a woman in Florida needing a therapist, let’s talk! Though I’m based out of my therapy practice in Miramar, FL, I can actually help you wherever you are via online therapy in Florida. Let’s talk about what life looks like when you practice strong, healthy boundaries!
Outside of Florida, but still needing support to live your best, most authentic life? Let’s talk about how I may be able to help you through empowerment coaching for women! Check out the rest of my therapy blog for resources, thoughts, and additional self-care tools. I’m here for you and your journey to a more fulfilling and beautiful life.
Other Services Offered at Counseling Solutions of Broward:
Enid De Jesus offers a variety of mental health services for women at her counseling clinic in Broward County, FL. Her goal is to create lasting transformative change and growth in your life. So, she offers anxiety treatment, depression treatment, counseling for imposter syndrome, after divorce counseling, relationship counseling for one, and co-dependency treatment. For more information on counseling, please check out her what to expect page or contact her counseling office.