You log onto social media and see another engagement announcement. Your HEART SINKS. It’s the second one this week. Now your MIND IS RACING. Why are all your high school friends getting engaged and settling down before you can even find a decent person?
It’s not like you haven’t been dating. In fact, it’s the opposite. You go out with plenty of people. You date for a while, but the relationship never lasts more than a few weeks. It’s SUPER FRUSTRATING because you try so hard to MAKE THEM HAPPY. You spend countless hours researching the things they like and going out of your way to do nice things for them to show you care. But, in the end, they always end up hurting you.
It’s fine. You’re fine. Everything is fine…But, is it?
Maybe you start your relationships by getting physical with the people you like. You tell yourself “it’s just sex.” You hope that if they’re attracted to you physically, it will turn into a meaningful relationship. But, a few weeks later, they tell you they “just aren’t ready to commit,” or they “just don’t want something serious.” Maybe, you casually date for a while. And, you tell yourself that you’re okay with that because you’re sure this time it will turn into something more. But then you discover they’re actually seeing other girls. And you’re SHATTERED.
No matter how hard you try or what you do. You always seem to end up being TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF. Guys always end up hurting you. When you tell your best friends what happened they only half listen. Later you find out that they’re tired of hearing you complain about your love life and the guys you date because they’re not sure how to help you. They love you, but they know that your dating behavior is self-destructive.
More often than not, you feel taken advantage of. Not only in your romantic relationships, but in your friendships and your relationships with your family as well.
When you really stop to think about it, you realize you’re not just struggling in your love life. Actually, your friendships and your relationships with your family are suffering too. You want to make everyone happy, and you want everyone to love you. You want to be popular and make new friends wherever you go, no matter the cost to you. So, when you meet new people you try to be the life of the party, even if you’re saying and doing things that are out of character for you. Or maybe, you’ve always felt INSECURE at family gatherings because all your family members seem to have their lives figured out. So, you spend hours obsessing about ways to be noticed and loved. At the end of the day, you wonder if you’re the problem because maybe you just don’t know how to communicate?
You’re unhappy and you know you can’t continue living your life like this But, how do you fix this co-dependent pattern?
You don’t want to be alone forever. It’s time to find your own prince charming. You want to feel comfortable being yourself around your friends and family without having to worry about whether they will still love you. Ultimately, you know it’s time for a change.
What you’re experiencing is codependency. In a nutshell, codependent relationships happen when you sacrifice your needs for others. Codependent relationships are often romantic relationships, but they can also happen in friendships and in families.
Codependency can show up in a lot of different ways including:
Poor boundaries: You might feel like it’s your job to make others happy. You have a hard time telling them no because you’re worried it might upset them.
Self-esteem issues: You constantly wonder if something is wrong with you? You may think you’re unlovable or not pretty enough… even though this is FAR from the truth.
Wanting to save your partner: You know that they have issues, but you think that you can help them overcome them if you just try hard enough.
Control Issues: You want to fix them, but when they fail or get upset. You take it personally. Ultimately, you tell yourself that it’s your fault. Then, you become controlling or possessive in an attempt to keep your partner from failing again.
Denying your own needs: You place others’ well-being and needs above your own. Even if this causes you pain.
The desire to be perfect: If you’re perfect and do everything right, maybe they will love you or not get angry with you.
Promiscuity: You want a relationship, but you’re not sure how to get guys to like you. So, you often turn to sex to get their attention and reassure yourself that you’re attractive.
Codependency treatment can help you regain control over your life.
You don’t have to sacrifice YOUR NEEDS for other people. You can learn how to STAND UP FOR YOURSELF and what you want or need. Therapist Enid De Jesus provides counseling in her Miramar, Florida office, and online in the state of Florida for women who struggle with codependency. During therapy, Enid will help you understand what thoughts and feelings are causing this behavior. Then, she will help you learn new ways to think about your life and the things that upset you so you can move forward in a healthier way. Oftentimes, people who are codependent become anxious before social gatherings, dates, or family events. So, she will also teach you coping techniques to deal with this anxiety and any feelings of inadequacy that may arise. Also, if you’re an HSP woman, you may be struggling with the anxiety these feelings bring up. Ultimately, her goal is to help you feel EMPOWERED and understand just how awesome you are!
Begin Codependency Treatment with Online Therapy in Florida:
You are ready to try something new. You want to feel better about yourself and your relationships. So, why not try counseling for codependency? In therapy, you will learn a concrete set of tools to stand up for yourself. To begin counseling in Miramar, FL, or online, follow these steps:
Reach out to Counseling Solutions of Boward. Schedule a free 20-minute consultation on a video platform,
Meet with Enid and get to know her! During the consultation, you can ask questions and learn more information about counseling for codependency
Begin counseling in Miramar, FL, and gain the strength to advocate for your best interests.