11 Signs You Might be Codependent, From a Florida Therapist

You’ve been hearing this phrase everywhere now: “codependent”

Maybe someone has even said they are concerned that you are codependent. Or, you’ve recently ended a relationship and wonder if it was codependent. Whatever brought you here, I’m so glad you found this!

Codependency - Word On Blue Background From Colorful Letters. Get support for women miramar, fl from broward conselor who does online therapy for women in florida needing codependency treatment and codependency therapy.

Let’s start with a story…

I have this colleague (she knows who she is, don’t worry) who just left a 10-year marriage. She doesn’t know how to be by herself! Between a string of “serial monogamy” dating relationships in college and the realities of her marriage and kiddos, it just wasn’t a thing she had to think about. There were always people there. Always a companion. Always someone to please and feel pleased about pleasing. Does the phrase “people-pleaser” come to mind?!? I hope so. Now, she’s feeling a little lost. Of course, there are a million different things that could be going on. Trauma. Grief. Loss. Identity questions. All of those major life transitions and the emotions that go with them. But, it would also be worth considering if perhaps she is dealing with codependency.

What is codependency anyway?

Well, I have a whole page dedicated to what this looks like in therapy. But, here are some of the hallmarks of codependency. The core of codependence is losing your sense of self. A person who is truly codependent finds that almost all of their thoughts and behaviors revolve around another person. Or, this could be an entire set of people in their life. Friends, family members, coworkers, anyone who you have a close and consistent relationship with. For any amount of time.

What is codependency NOT?

Two Hearts Connected By Net Slime Hand Drawn Vector Illustration in pink. Codependency treatment in Florida can help you heal yourself from a codependent relationship with a Broward counselor who provides support for women miramar, fl Sometimes, people get “codependent” confused with other, far more normal ways of being with others. If you found this article, you may still be on the fence about what’s going on in your world. Totally understandable! Let’s try a few more examples to help define the difference. Some healthy ways of caring for others that often get confused with codependency are:

Feeling comforted by the presence of another person
A desire to help a struggling friend or family member
Even making an occasional sacrifice to help someone you love
Not wanting your loved one to leave

People also sometimes use the term “codependent” to describe behaviors that are actually “clingy” or otherwise unhealthy. Of course, that leads to some confusion too. One way to think of codependency is “extreme support” where you end up losing yourself in the process. This is very different from feeling connected to or even “clingy” with another person.

So, what does this mean?

Basically, it means that lots of people have some tendency to be co-dependent. Especially women. We’re wired for connection. And, as young girls, socialized to be as selfless as possible. Now, how do you know the difference? Are there more ways to know if the issue you’re having is simply socialization or codependency? Sure. There are quizzes, books, and worksheets to try to figure out whether or not you are actually codependent. But, I’ve narrowed this down a bit based on my therapy work with women, teens, and moms in Florida who deal with codependency.