Therapy for Teen Girls & their Moms
Teen: OMFG!!! I can’t believe my MOM! She’s so crazy and totally doesn’t GET ME! She never listens to you and always takes your younger brother’s side. Every day she gets home and she’s yelling at you 5 seconds after opening the door. Even when you did NOTHING wrong.
Mom: You’re exhausted, thanks to the day from hell at work… All you want to do is get home, figure out dinner and go to bed without a hitch. You ready to walk in the door change into your pajamas, eat and relax. But before you’ve reached the door, you hear her. There goes ALL your plans for a restful night.
Teen: You feel like an outcast EVERYWHERE, completely MISUNDERSTOOD, even in your own home. She is such a hypocrite too. She tells you that you can talk to her and be OPEN and HONEST. But the second you try to tell her ANYTHING she shuts you down because she’s too busy or too tired to listen. Sometimes you even hear her talking about you on the phone to her friends, telling them she just can’t handle you and all your DRAMA.
Mom: She’s screaming as you walk in the door. Another fight between your kids, and as always, it’s your TEENAGE DAUGHTER who seems to be the RINGLEADER of all the chaos. You try to piece together the gist of the fight, simultaneously trying to break it up before it gets physical. It’s hard, you don’t have the energy for this, and she’s inches away from your ear about to make your eardrum burst.
Teen: As if you don’t have enough problems with everything else going on in your life. Your friends are either smiling in your face or talking crap behind your back. Sometimes they even do it openly in the group text and cut you off until someone else becomes the focus. Then the person you’re into is giving you the runaround with the whole “I’m not into labels” BS. Meanwhile they still want to hook-up with you.
Mom: Images of the past begin to play like a movie in your head. Back to the days that she’d come running the second she heard your key in the door her arms outstretched ready to pounce, “MOMMY!” You miss the days when she would ask to cuddle and while you read a story to her, or when she’d excitedly tell you every detail of her school day giggling all the way through.
Teen: On top of all that you’ve got school. Which is ending in a few years and you’re just trying to make it through without going completely mental, but seriously what is wrong with these people. They just want you to be some sort of robot and not have any feelings or question any of their decisions because THEY’RE the adult.
Mom: The change was slow at first- a few moody moments turned into days- and now you HARDLY RECOGNIZE your little girl. Most of your time together is spent in screaming matches or breaking up yet another fight between her and the other kids. This isn’t the way it was supposed to be. You wanted Gilmore Girls and instead you have Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
One of the most important relationships we have is the relationship we have with our mothers.
* Iyanla Vanzant
I know this isn’t what you want!
What you actually want is a RELATIONSHIP. The kind of relationship where you can talk to each other. Where you’re not constantly bracing yourselves for World War III every time you’re going to see each other. One where you ENJOY spending time with each. Where you feel RESPECTED and LOVED by each other. Where you feel HEARD and LISTENED to. A relationship that is a SAFE HARBOR in the storm that is your daily life.
Let’s be honest…
being a teenager can REALLY SUCK!!
You’ve got all these thoughts, emotions and hormones that you literally have NO IDEA how to deal with them. You need someone to confide in and guide you, that’s supposed to be your parents, your mom in particular, but you can’t even look at each other half the time without knowing that in 5 seconds any peace is over.
That dream relationship is POSSIBLE.
Creating a supportive relationship and preparing your daughter for the future is within your grasp.
As a team, we can work together to:
Teach your daughter the skills to:
- Improve her relationships with family and friends
- Learn to identify and express her emotions constructively
- Learn strategies to cope with her emotions
- Learn healthy approaches to resolve arguments/fights
Teach you the skills to:
- Develop appropriate boundaries during this transitional period
- Learn ways to support and empower your daughter to achieve her goals
- Model appropriate social and emotional skills to prepare your daughter into adulthood